RUMBLES IN THE JUNGLE
REPORTER: So Reginald Chandler, lets stop wasting time. There are rumors circulating that there is beef between you and the commissioner of the league, who I might add, is the new and highly skilled owner of the Oakland Raiders. Would you care to address that?
Reginald: Well there was some beef between us. He got a little jealous that my jerky was bigger than his, but hey, that's what happens when you kill an 8-point versus a 6-point. He flew me over to his home in California and we discussed it. We evenly distributed the meat
REPORTER 2: What a jerk you are...*cough cough* I mean, so We've been hearing rumblings that you and you division rival, green fireball throwing Luigi, had a disagreement. Care to explain this my "bruhdah?"
Reginald: Mane......bruh, well..... bruh, I'm going to tell you like this bruh........Red H20 with a whole bunch of other stuff mixed in it is thicker than h20. That's that. But he aint ready otherwise. Tell him I said this, "Y'een bout that AFC head coaching life."
REPORTER 3: So we here you like winning. With your dazzling resume, that's obvious. We understand why the jaguars hired you. But you have already been threatened to be fired because of your "Jordan like" winning attitude. Do you view winning as the most important thing??? Do you view winning more important than "SIMM" play? Don't let us find out you've been deflating balls and spying on a #$%$##$......We're going to bury that a$$ in the news reports.
Reginald:Why you have to curse at me man?? You're in front of my front door, begging me to answer your mediocre questions. But for the most part, the critics are correct. I view not winning the SB as a failed season. I have high expectations for my team and the coaching staff as well. This organization has the pieces in place to become a dynasty. In regards to winning over simm play. I try to keep my game plan as simple as possible, therefore no simm play complaints can exacerbate. I run run run run run, pass run run, pas, run run, and maybe pass again. You blitz me up the middle, we adjust, You blitz me to the outside we adjust. I think adjustments we make in the game aren't against simm rules, but can be credited towards awareness of the players. BUT I DO THINK SIMM PLAY IS IMPORTANT. You know yawl reporters love to twist words.
REPORTER 4: Who do you think will when the SB this year?
Reginald: Me of course. As I've said. I believe in this organization and the money they went out and spent on bringing in some great players. I believe we are young, but we're ready. There's a lot of competition out in the AFC, but hell, I mean, bruh, just look at the resume............Don't worry........I'll wait...........yezzir.....
REPORTER 5: Well, Reginald, What do you have to say to the other owners and coaches of the league. And can you address the rumor about you "Ducking tosh(TRAVO)."
Reginald: Let's address the rumor about Travis first. It was during the Thanksgiving Holliday last year, and we all know how important that is to celebrate with our family. But he said said, he wanted some "wild game" get it, WILD GAME...... So I went out and shot him a turkey and duck and went up to ohio. I tell you what I got all the way up there and this child of God refused to answer the phone to give me his exact address. He waited to I got back in Arkansas and was like , "I'm sorry bro, you called." I'm looking like, " man that's why I don't fool with those northerners."
But to the rest of the owners, I love each and every one of yawl. Especially coach, zou zou, and big dady waffle. You three, are the real MVP's.
