Winter is coming.

AFC - 2017 Regular Season

AFC East

Team Owner Ovr Div
Lethal 4-2 0-0
maori Rugger
3-4 0-0
5-2 0-0
PacknLipper 1-7 0-0

AFC North

Team Owner Ovr
TStrohbros 5-3 0-0
CCBeaver 1-6 0-0
Ovfd55 5-2 0-0
Luigi 5-2 0-0

AFC South

Team Owner Ovr Div
Vanflank 5-2 0-0
Dardman50 3-4 0-0
Zoufan 6-1 0-0
Nwstudly 3-3 0-0

AFC West

Team Owner Ovr Div
Bizzy 5-2 0-0
Widow 2-5 0-0
Doublenutt 1-6 0-0
OJ jr 3-4 0-0

July 2018


Calendar Calendar

Mid Season Review

Poster Child for Korea's Gangnam Style Movement

Posts : 284
Join date : 2011-07-27
Age : 37

Mid Season Review

Post by SyrcsePride on Thu Oct 31, 2013 6:17 pm

So with most of the teams halfway through their season, where do the teams fall in line? Are the favorites still on top? Have the mighty fallen? Do we have any upstarts that have bucked their mediocre trend?

AFC East:
Pre-Season: This division was arguably the strongest in the AFC. Perennial powerhouse Biz still led the way with his unpredictable offensive game plan. Lethal underachieved, but was lurking in the shadows waiting to make his move. Pride was gay and kotb continued his strong play with the help of his incredible defensive line. All four teams are more than capable of taking the division and making a deep run into the playoffs. Of course we still had Biz playing the best card in his hand, the victim card, as he predicted his demise after a less than stellar draft. I myself prefer the race card.

Season: Not much has changed with the structure of this division. Biz and Lethal have come out strong and will battle it out for the division title. Their head to head match-ups could definitely determine who will take the division. Pride continues to play inconsistently and has seen a huge drop off in his defensive play while being hit with a rash of sim injuries. He blames the beginning of the year being AP'd as well as being buttfucked by Moon. Kotb has floundered, but fielding a competitive team. The playoffs are still well within reach. Now if only he'd come into chat more.

AFC North:
Pre-Season: A division that has always belonged to OC. Sometimes we'd see Zuke make a small run, but he always seemed to run out of gas. The always lovable and toasted Pack shows up and gives it his best which is more than many provide. Though now he's playing with one eye over his shoulder. Something about a cougar on the prowl. Then there's Waffle who enjoyed the view from the bottom. Always reliable to receive a bag or two.

Season: Definitely the biggest surprise of the season so far as Waffle has decided that he'd rather be on top and ride the division. He has admitted to "game planning" this season which involves him being allowed to play his game in exchange to sexually pleasing his wife for the waffle requisite, 30 seconds. Oc on the other hand is hanging around. Maybe he feels bad and decided to give the division some excitement. I expect him to turn it up and have the division wrapped up by season's end. Pack continues to sign into Live. He's also good at curling, or Canada's shuffleboard. Zuke....who?

AFC South:
Pre-Season: Always a tricky division to predict. Rude has been consistently strong and always challenges for the division title. Turke has his ups and downs, but typically has more ups than HA at an all-male review. Zou spring boarded his strong play into a high draft pick and low expectations. With an itchy chat kick finger, I'll air on the side of caution here and say, "Hi Zou". Bo...he's the Brick to the Burgundy Action 4 News Team. He shows up, throws around a few barbs, and then eats a candle or loves a lamp.

Season: Another surprise to the season so far as Zou has turned his season around and fighting it out with Rude for the division. Maybe it's the warm Jacksonville air, or the roster that is comprised of the Bengals. Could a little bit of Oc have rubbed off on Zou or is it Oc rubbing off Zou? Either way, he's playing very well. Rude continues his consistent play. He's so boring to write about. He's non-confrontational, he lurks in chat, and he's black (there's that race card). LURBX. Turke is middling about and playing grab ass for some reason. He's got the roster to make a run at the division and I expect him to come out strong in the second half. Bo decided to jettison JJ Watt in exchange for the sexiest WR corp in the league. Being sexy doesn't equal wins, but at least we can marvel at the sight of the habitual losing.

AFC West:
Pre-Season: A division that houses the SB winner doesn't necessarily say much about the rest of the division as DP ran away in winning the division. For DP, expectations were extremely high and the pressure to repeat was on. He definitely has shown the ability to excel, but other question was whether the division could keep up. Moon tried to appease the Madden gods by buying his way into their favor, but would that equate to wins? HA continues to underachieve which leads most to think that his Thai house boy has left him. As for the Raiders, who the fuck knows.

Season: The surprise in the division so far is that DP hasn't clinched it. He's taken care of his division games, but running into problems with games outside of it. A couple of key wins outside of the AFC West and he should be able to lock it up. Moon has stepped up his game and much of that can be attributed to the acquisition of Ryan Mallet. Mallet has brought his screaming NERF football with him from New England and is lighting passing defenses up. I'm still petitioning to have an * placed next to the Bills game. HA's house boy has indeed left. All he's left with is a hamster tube and a Richard Gere how to guide, a best seller in Norway. Maybe if twin actually had one then maybe we'd see him active. I'm predicting a DOA Raiders team for the 2015 season.

NFC East:
Pre-Season: Another division that has a consistent team at the top year after year. Ov continues to prove that he's one of the better players in the league at the expense of the pedestrian division. Could Grim finally get it together and make a move besides offering rides to kids in his fire truck. Bundy is a wildcard in the division. He has shown the ability to play at a high level as well as churn out a massive turd. He could play spoiler in the division. HereTen8 has a number in his name. That's about it for him.

Season: It's a two man race for the division crown. Ov hasn't been able to put the division away even though he's got Shannon Sharpe playing TE and throwing up numbers we haven't seen since E-Rod. Some may say it's cheesy and to those people I say, you're damn right! Bundy has upped his game and is challenging for the division title. He's also been in chat more and more. Could that be any sort of correlation? Our sweet Grim, if he were trail mix, I'd pick at his nuts. HereTen8 still has that number in his name.

NFC North:
Pre-Season: Randy won the division with a 5 game cushion and went 6-0 in his division. That is absolutely nasty considering who resides in the division with him. Could he continue his dominance or will the rest of the division wake up? Dmaki has always expressed himself through grunts, wheezes, and a formidable passing game. Surely last season was a fluke and the expectations for him are still high. With a season under his belt, we expect him to challenge for division. To say Van had an underwhelming season is fair. He expects better of himself and so do we. Maybe he was distracted by the lack of fresh drinking water. Timberland was still feeling out the game and came on strong at the end of last season by winning his final three games. Could he build on that momentum?

Season: The mute giant, Dmaki, has finally woken up and is charging hard for the division. His offense is clicking as usual. His defense will need to step it up if he wants to maintain his run. Randy has played well and split the season match-up with dmaki. His other two losses were by 3 so he's still extremely dangerous. Unfortunately, he's best friends with Bi-bi-sexual chocolate and that has to hurt your street cred no matter how many SBs you play in. Van boasts the second best offense in the league. We all knew it was only a matter of time until Van figures it out. So far AD has amassed 1131 yards through 8 games. Due to the exchange rate, that converts to 13 yards. Timberland has significantly regressed. Could it be due to decline in play, or that at 47 years old, he's forgetting what buttons do what.

NFC South
Pre-Season: A division loaded with talent but turned in stinker of a season outside of Bi-bi-sexual chocolate, who continued to show that it wasn't the Raiders that made him a solid owner. Who knows how he can play so well while his hands are consistently covered in baby oil and bits of man DNA. Rush is one of the stronger players in Dwho. You can always expect him to be competitive and make a run deep into the playoffs. Last season had to be an anomaly. If interceptions were the currency of the world, King would be the Sultan of Saudi Arabia. Not only would he be rich, but he'd also subject his women to stuff like not being able to vote or drive. He posted an 8-8 record, can he build on that and sneak into the playoffs? Who knows what to expect from phoof? The only thing he can guarantee is that he can smell Tosh on his sister's breath.

Season: Bi-bi-sexual chocolate continues to impress! Even after a long day of strenuous man rub downs, he continues to post wins. Lesser men would wilt under the hand fatigue. Phoof found out that he had a good team and has finally started to use them. He still hasn't figured out Bi-bi-sexual chocolate which could hinder him from stealing the division from him. What's going on with Rush? A .500 record isn't very Rush-like and he has to turn it around quickly in order to make any sort of realistic move towards the playoffs. With King, the rich get richer as he's currently on pace for 44 interceptions. The silver lining is that he's second in passing yardage. It's good to be the King.

NFC West
Pre-Season: What a frustrating and demoralizing division. It's no fun playing the best division in Dwho. You go into the game expecting a loss and a lesson taught. Fitting that Tosh is a teacher in his day job. The best player in Dwho and also the most polarizing. You either hate him or kind of stand him. In other words, he's the Tony Romo of Dwho. It should be Tosh's division again. Sun is also another strong Dwho'er who typically hands out L's like it's Halloween candy (festive). Everyone can challenge Tosh for the division title, but Sun's chances are a little stronger as he boasts MVP candidates like Swope and Fitz. Playing DK is a passing clinic. In his clinic you learn that a passing game is dependent on short WRs. Whether it's Welker or Austin, DK finds ways to molest your physically superior DBs. Ridiculous. Coach, it's been said that if he were in any other division, he'd win it. I heard the Raiders and Eagles might be available....

Season: Stop me if you've heard this, Tosh is leading the division. Isn't he bored of winning yet? Even with his teaching schedule, football coaching, he still finds ways to get his game in. You would think that such a schedule would force him to miss games here and there. I guess those post game showers with the team aren't that tasking. Poor Sun, another year of playing for the wild card. It also doesn't help that Swope's numbers pale in comparison to his unbelievable 2013 numbers. He did bring in JJ Watt to bolster the defense, but with Watt's pending free agency, will Sun have enough to bring him back? Word is that sun will have to spend more than 50 Marriott awesome dudes to bring Watt back. DK continues to post a solid record, but is doing it far differently. He claims the best rushing defense in the league. He'll need to regain his passing footing in order to challenge for a wild card spot. Coach is at 4-4 right now and on the outside looking in. Could he be missing All-Pro Aldon Smith? Good news is that the running game has been revived by the French born, LaMichael James, who at 5'9 towers over Coach.

Posts : 430
Join date : 2010-05-20

Re: Mid Season Review

Post by zoufan on Thu Oct 31, 2013 6:22 pm

Tosh = Tony Romo, hahaha
May I park your balls?

Posts : 414
Join date : 2011-07-25
Age : 42
Location : Dancing In The Endzone!

Re: Mid Season Review

Post by LethalNtention on Fri Nov 01, 2013 12:22 am

Good stuff man... some pretty funny lines.

Posts : 1173
Join date : 2012-03-10

Re: Mid Season Review

Post by bizzyrg on Fri Nov 01, 2013 11:47 am

Nice work Pride. i just took 30 min away from for this. lol loved every minute of it. well except when u predicted the departure of my family. circle jerk!
daniel knugs

Posts : 152
Join date : 2011-08-16

Re: Mid Season Review

Post by daniel knugs on Fri Nov 01, 2013 12:24 pm

Only read through the NFC West writeups but great stuff! Will be reding through the rest later today
~OG~ will cut you

Posts : 205
Join date : 2011-11-16
Location : MD

Re: Mid Season Review

Post by no1xdraftpck on Fri Nov 01, 2013 2:09 pm

awesome write up. Thanks

Posts : 305
Join date : 2010-06-08

Re: Mid Season Review

Post by VanFlank on Sat Nov 02, 2013 10:05 am

i love u pride.

Posts : 1173
Join date : 2012-03-10

Re: Mid Season Review

Post by bizzyrg on Sat Nov 02, 2013 10:36 am

Pride wrote: Of course we still had Biz playing the best card in his hand, the victim card, as he predicted his demise after a less than stellar draft. I myself prefer the race card.

its coming to fruition


Posts : 44
Join date : 2011-12-26

Re: Mid Season Review

Post by phoofyphil on Sat Nov 02, 2013 10:28 pm

Awesome write up!  Hilarious

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